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B.R.A.V.I.N.G. Trust: R.= Reliability

Updated: Apr 14, 2023

Who do you trust?

Take a minute and think about that person. There is a high probability that person is reliable where they regularly follow through and their actions match their words. To quote Izzy Victoria Odaise, "It is okay to say 'no'. It is okay to say 'I will think about it'. It is okay to say 'I will try'. It is not okay to make promises you cannot keep."

Brene Brown's description of reliability is "when someone does what they say they're going to do over and over again." Reliability is earned over time with consistent follow through of commitments. It is related to the degree in which we can count on someone. Make no mistake, reliability is essential for healthy trusting relationships. We all know those that we can count on. We certainly know those with a history of broken promises that we cannot count on.

In Carl Jung's words, "you are what you do, not what you say you'll do." Action matter and when we break our commitments, it is safe to say, people learn that they cannot count on you. Inevitably, over time distance and disconnection develops with the relationship. There is another significant cost to not honoring your word and that it self-trust. Each broken promise chips away at self-trust and this leads to feelings of low self-worth.

To grasp the impact that not following through has on our self-value, visualize your choices a a process of filling up either the "I like me" or "I do not like me" bucket. Broken promises fills the "I do not like me" bucket and this will lead to low self-trust, enhanced self-doubt and heighten internal discord. This feeds anxiety and depression, which ultimately creates low self-esteem. We are limited to what we can control in life. It is empowering to realize that we can control our choices and the choice to value reliability.

Take a moment and consider these reflective questions.

  • Are you true to your word by following through with actions?

  • Do you communicate as soon as you recognize you cannot follow through with what you said you would do?

  • Do you take time before making a commitment and think before acting too quickly?

  • Do you value other's time and do not taking them for granted?

  • Do you communicate honestly and truthfully without "small" untruths?

Our action do matter. What bucket do you want to fill? Do you want to fuel connections and build self-worth? A key component is the value of reliability.

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